FEATURED GUEST BLOGGER:
Kellea Tibbs, Writer and Event Planner
Some women are meant to be mothers, some more than others. Karen Derrico, from the reality show, “Doubling Down With the Derricos” is definitely one of those women. I started watching this show, about a real life Black family with 11 kids, many of whom are multiples and all of the children are so stinking cute.
Let me first say, that I do like the
show and appreciate it, because it is a chance for America to see a real Black
family on TV with a mother and father taking care of their family and the
craziness of looking after multiples and the drama, all of that brings. And
while I do know that I would not personally want to be responsible for that
many children at once, I wholeheartedly give big kudos to these parents,
because, whew, it looks like a lot of work. As an observer, one can see that
there is definitely a lot of love in the
Derrico household. As a childfree woman,
on the outside looking in, I by no means want this to come across as me being
judgmental, only as inquisitive and a goal to get to a place of understanding,
for myself (which means I need to talk it out). I also know that I can't
possibly be the only person who has watched this show and thad same questions
about this family.
My concerns with the show, are as
follows: So, at the premiere of the show, the mom, Karen, already having given
birth to 11 children, was pregnant again
with triplets. As a result of past issues with births, she had to be on bed
rest and had been on bed rest for most of her pregnancies, and, after his
birth, lost a baby, the last time she was pregnant. For this bed rest period, she was admitted
into the hospital and during her stay, there was an earthquake that triggered
contractions and the triplets arrived earlier than expected. One of the new triplets has a heart issue,
needing open heart surgery, and from what I understood, they can't operate
until the baby gains some weight.
While I feel sorry for and pray for
these babies, from the outside looking in, I do think that it's a little bit
selfish, if you will, to keep having babies, knowing your propensity to have
multiples, and the higher chance of possible complications, especially the
older you get. And now, Karen, the mom, is in pain because of the birth of back
to back multiples and she can barely walk. To me, her body is probably like, I
need a break. On top of that she is breast pumping for the new babies and has
breast fed all 11 of the previous kids! Again, her body is like stop! Not to
mention the doctors and dentist visits for 14 kids, and what about college?
WTH? And now, unfortunately, one of their children has a medical issue, not to
mention all three new babies are still in the hospital, so who’s paying for
that? And who knows how many of the
other of the children might get sick in the future (heaven forbid they don’t)?
Again, hear me when I say that, as a
woman, I definitely understand the power of a woman’s body and what we are
capable of. Also, not knocking having lots of children, because my grandmother
had 11 kids, however, that was also back in the 1940s and 1950s and she started
having children at an early age and the cost of living was a lot cheaper. I also realize that some women feel guilty
about not having children or actually family planning and saying, maybe I don’t
want to have so many and maybe I do want to be on birth control or have tubes
tied, or other options that women have access to. Karen also feels some kind of
way about getting a nanny because, understandably, for many women, that's
considered a sign of weakness as a mother. However, it is 2020 and a nanny or
babysitter nowadays is considered self-care, and normal, so I encourage and
hope that Karen chooses a nanny ( or two ) to help with the 14 children. And if
any family definitely needs a nanny, it's this family.
And just as I did when Octomom came
on the scene in 2009, my final question of curiosity to the Derricos is, you
already have 11 children, why do you need more than that, especially in 2020?
Again, I'm glad they have a Black family on TV with a mother and father, and it's
very interesting to watch. However, it's also a different era and I’m just
wondering if the concept of family planning should have been examined a little
closer in this situation, especially when health risks are at stake for the
mother or the babies. And my fear is that young people, who we know are very
much influenced by what they see on reality TV (i.e., The Kardashians, Love
& Hip Hop, 16 and Pregnant, etc.) who don't have money or a way to support
a large family, will aim to get a bright idea about a big family and not have
the means to take care of them.
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