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Child-Free: Right or Privilege? by Terri Ley, Guest Blogger

The pressure for women to have children transcends cultural, ethnic, and racial lines. Terms like legacy, fruitfulness, family unit, matriarchy, and even the opposing connotations like barrenness and the dreaded patriarchy are easily understood in every culture. The translation and application may be different, but the message is clear: Women should have children to progress humanity. Even with discussions about overpopulation, poverty, and cultural conflicts, women are still expected to gratefully accept some man’s sperm into her body and produce at least one baby. Depending on your living situation, a child represents your life insurance policy, estate planning, and your retirement plan. As a Black woman, I have no doubt felt the pressure to have children. Whether it is because I should promote my culture and pass along traditions and history or because I should be afraid of dying alone, children are expected. Over the years, I have gone back and forth on the desire to have childre
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Recent posts

Childfree Does Not Mean Debt Free by Dr. Angela L. Harris

Okay, so let me let you in on a little secret!  Come close!  No seriously, come in closer!  Okay, are you ready?  I have debt!  I mean, I really, really have DEBT!  I have student loans from my three degrees. I have a small credit card balance which is less than $500.00  I have expenses such as rent, cell phone, medical, and business expenses for both my mental health advocacy and childfree lifestyle brands. I was super happy when I paid off that car note on my 2012 Honda Accord.  I am going to ride that baby until the wheels fall off!  Hell, I will ride it on straight rims before considering another car note, lol. I am independent and childfree! No intimate partner, no sugar daddy, no doing something strange for a little bit of change, lol.  Just me - handling my financial business in a responsible manner. Everything falls on ME!  Yes, my parents have thrown me a few hundred dollars here and there over the years.  My sister has certainly helped me out of a few binds.  But when it is a
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Doubling Down With the Derricos: An Overabundance of Family

  FEATURED GUEST BLOGGER:  Kellea Tibbs, Writer and Event Planner Some women are meant to be mothers, some more than others. Karen Derrico, from the reality show, “ Doubling Down With the Derricos ” is definitely one of those women. I started watching this show, about a real life Black family with 11 kids, many of whom are multiples and all of the children are so stinking cute.   Let me first say, that I do like the show and appreciate it, because it is a chance for America to see a real Black family on TV with a mother and father taking care of their family and the craziness of looking after multiples and the drama, all of that brings. And while I do know that I would not personally want to be responsible for that many children at once, I wholeheartedly give big kudos to these parents, because, whew, it looks like a lot of work. As an observer, one can see that there is   definitely a lot of love in the Derrico household.   As a childfree woman, on the outside looking in, I by no me
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"Rehomed" For What?

So, it may be strange for a childfree sistah like myself to write about the personal business of a mother who I do not know.  This story just blew me away so I figured I would write out my thoughts.   I recently learned about Myka Stauffer, a social media influencer, from Ohio, who recently “rehomed” her Asian, special needs son, Huxley.     She adopted him 3 years ago. If you are not familiar with the story, you can certainly learn all about Myka online.   She is being drug all over social media for “giving up on her son.”   Many people take issue with Myka because people tend to believe you “rehome a pet” and not a child.    So I will keep it 100.   I never heard of Myka Stauffer until this “breaking news.”   A white woman, married, with children of her own, decides to adopt internationally, an Asian, autistic, son. Myka and her husband released a statement that her son, Huxley, was now too much to handle and that he was better off living with a new family. This comes AFTER blo
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Childfree During Corona V

Soooooo........just like everyone else in the world today, I am feeling just a little bit of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety due to the COVID-19 crisis.   Thankfully, I have kicked up my faith in high gear and have the scripture Isaiah 54:17 on repeat in my head.   Like many of you, I have taken breaks throughout the past two weeks from the infamous CNN news to protect my sanity.   I have connected with friends and family through FaceTime, logged in more hours I care to count on Zoom, and even found myself on Tik Tok offering some much needed humor to a few of my line sisters!   Yes, after a few sweaty hours, lol - my attempt at the #savagechallenge is complete! If I can get 25 or more comments below about this blog post, I may just post my Tik Tok video on my social media just to humor you too! I have colleagues, family and friends who are now at home with their children because schools across the country are closed. Many parents and caretakers are now responsible for helping r
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"Sensitive Ears"

Okay, so I already know there will be some people who will get where I am going with this! Yes! However, I also know there will be a few  who will likely be in their feelings about MY experience and MY truth. Just in case you missed it, there is an emphasis on MY, lol!  We live in a world where it is frowned upon to talk negatively about other folk’s children. I have watched plenty of reality shows to know that calling out someone’s kid are undisputed reasons to have yours edges snatched and your butt beat! So in order to keep the peace (cause I definitely want to keep my edges, lol), please know that I am not talking about YOUR child (if you so happen to have children); then again, maybe I am.  Keep reading to see! A few weeks ago, I needed to pick up a few items for my home, so I decided to make a quick run to the dollar store. On this particular day, it was pretty packed because it was the first week in January and people were catching the 50% to 80% discounts on Christmas dec
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What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?

Christmas just ain’t Christmas without the one you love.   This is the time of year where every urban radio station across the country plays the old school urban holiday classics by Donny Hathaway, The O’Jays, The Emotions, and let’s not forget the romantic chiller, “Let It Snow”, by Boyz to Men and Brian McKnight. Songs of love, family, and children laughing is what Christmas is all about, right? I agree, but I also have a slightly different narrative to share. I truly enjoy my solitude. There is nothing like laying down on my couch, covered from head to toe with my plush blanket, candles flickering, Egyptian Musk incense burning; and looking at a cheesy movie or binge watching   “Law and Order: SVU”.   I love me some Sgt. Olivia Benson!   Solitude is not loneliness, although many confuse the two.   I have experienced both.   When I am mindful of my solitude, I experience calmness, curiosity, and a lazy state of mind like no other. There is peace in this space. However, when I
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