#NoBibsBurpsBottles: My Authentic Childfree Life

So, it may be strange for a childfree sistah like myself to write about the personal business of a mother who I do not know.  This story just blew me away so I figured I would write out my thoughts.   I recently learned about Myka Stauffer, a social media influencer, from Ohio, who recently “rehomed” her Asian, special needs son, Huxley.     She adopted him 3 years ago. If you are not familiar with the story, you can certainly learn all about Myka online.   She is being drug all over social media for “giving up on her son.”   Many people take issue with Myka because people tend to believe you “rehome a pet” and not a child.    So I will keep it 100.   I never heard of Myka Stauffer until this “breaking news.”   A white woman, married, with children of her own, decides to adopt internationally, an Asian, autistic, son. Myka and her husband released a statement that her son, Huxley, was now too much to handle and that he was better o...

Soooooo........just like everyone else in the world today, I am feeling just a little bit of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety due to the COVID-19 crisis.   Thankfully, I have kicked up my faith in high gear and have the scripture Isaiah 54:17 on repeat in my head.   Like many of you, I have taken breaks throughout the past two weeks from the infamous CNN news to protect my sanity.   I have connected with friends and family through FaceTime, logged in more hours I care to count on Zoom, and even found myself on Tik Tok offering some much needed humor to a few of my line sisters!   Yes, after a few sweaty hours, lol - my attempt at the #savagechallenge is complete! If I can get 25 or more comments below about this blog post, I may just post my Tik Tok video on my social media just to humor you too! I have colleagues, family and friends who are now at home with their children because schools across the country are closed. Many parents and caretakers are now respon...

Okay, so I already know there will be some people who will get where I am going with this! Yes! However, I also know there will be a few  who will likely be in their feelings about MY experience and MY truth. Just in case you missed it, there is an emphasis on MY, lol!  We live in a world where it is frowned upon to talk negatively about other folk’s children. I have watched plenty of reality shows to know that calling out someone’s kid are undisputed reasons to have yours edges snatched and your butt beat! So in order to keep the peace (cause I definitely want to keep my edges, lol), please know that I am not talking about YOUR child (if you so happen to have children); then again, maybe I am.  Keep reading to see! A few weeks ago, I needed to pick up a few items for my home, so I decided to make a quick run to the dollar store. On this particular day, it was pretty packed because it was the first week in January and people were catching the 50% to 80% discounts on...

Christmas just ain’t Christmas without the one you love.   This is the time of year where every urban radio station across the country plays the old school urban holiday classics by Donny Hathaway, The O’Jays, The Emotions, and let’s not forget the romantic chiller, “Let It Snow”, by Boyz to Men and Brian McKnight. Songs of love, family, and children laughing is what Christmas is all about, right? I agree, but I also have a slightly different narrative to share. I truly enjoy my solitude. There is nothing like laying down on my couch, covered from head to toe with my plush blanket, candles flickering, Egyptian Musk incense burning; and looking at a cheesy movie or binge watching   “Law and Order: SVU”.   I love me some Sgt. Olivia Benson!   Solitude is not loneliness, although many confuse the two.   I have experienced both.   When I am mindful of my solitude, I experience calmness, curiosity, and a lazy state of mind like no other. There is peace i...

I want to share a little story about Lenni, my pit bull mix rescue.   A non-bonding experience with him truly opened my eyes to a few things about “parenthood”.   First, let me start out by saying that I KNOW a pet is NOT a physical child.   So please do not come for me, lol.   I just needed to make that very clear before proceeding with this post.   However, for many pet owners, including myself, our pets ARE our “children” and very much part of the family.   A few months ago, I walked into my house after a long day of work.   I was feeling beat down and torn.   All I wanted to do was walk Lenni, eat dinner, shower, and spend the rest of the evening on the couch.   To my surprise, I walked in and immediately discovered that my home had been violated and burglarized!   I stepped over toiletries, towels, plants, books, garbage, and oh yeah, a torn up couch!   As I stood in the middle of my living room trying to make sense of what h...

I remember a time when I used to get somewhat annoyed when people asked me, “Do you have children?”   The question  is not anything like the unforbidden rule of asking a woman her age.   Heck, I never hesitate when answering THAT particular question, because I often love the surprise (and sometimes debate, lol) on the person’s face when I tell them that I am in my late 40’s (and still fine)!   I started to dig a bit deeper and ask myself, “Why am I annoyed at such a simple question?”   I can admit today that I felt judged! Yeah, maybe sometimes it was all in my head.   T here were other times when the judgement and shade thrown my way was too real.   I mean, show me a 40+ year old Black woman who does not have at least one kid, right?   Well, I had not one but none!   I realize now that I created my own mental pressure cooker of measuring myself up against women who appeared to be able to do it all!   Yep, I believe Mothers are the bac...

Happy New Year and welcome to my first blog post!  I have decided to step out on faith and start this journey of writing my thoughts and feelings about being a 40+ something, single, unmarried, Black, professional woman without children! Yep, that's me!  My goals are to provide a space for older women to share openly and honestly their feelings about not having children (for whatever the reason), offer some humor to different stories and scenarios on not having children, and provide thought-provoking questions and content on what it means to be a part of this unique club.  Please don't judge me just yet! I am not a mom hater!  I do like kids (sometimes, lol).  I have come to the conclusion that there are many women just like me who are not mothers and that NOT having the title of "Mother", "Mama", "Mommie" or "Ma" can mean something spoken and unspoken to society, family, friends, colleagues, and potential intimate partners. My uncer...